Yesterday was test day, I did the home test and of course it was negative I was expecting it (had on and off cramps/lower back pain since Tuesday). Seeing that single pink line reminded me why I had not test @ home in the past 6 cycles, it hurts! At lunch time I went to do the bloodwork for the test, which came out - also (duh!). Even though from the beginning I had a feeling this IUI was not going to work, another part of me always get hopeful...I guess the rational part of me says don't get your too excited and then there's another part of me that almost everyday day dreams about finally seeing those 2 pink lines, my reaction to it, J's reaction. I even start thinking about the due date, maternity leave and how and when we are gonna tell our families and so on....Then reality hits and boom! my heart breaks again =(
In the past, at least I had another IUI to hold on to, but now the only thing left might be IVF, and even though I really want to give it a try, for now that's out of our reach. As if infertility wasn't hard enough, we also have to worry about the financial side of it...yeah life is great!
ps: there was a baby shower @ work today, same day my beta results came in - and AF came to visit.
Let's cross our fingers for a 2012 baby! Remind me to take good care of my eggs! No boiling or scrambling them, por favor!
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