When I'm feeling all down and depressed. I keep telling my self to remain positive and that sooner or later J and I will have our little miracle, but still there's days like today that I feel almost defeated/upset and sad. I see on the infertility board that I go to that a lot of the ladies that started TTC around the time we did are now finally pregnant and while part of me is happy for their blessing, part of me wonder if I'm ever gonna be able to see those two beautiful 2 pink lines. I feel mad at my self and frustrated that this cycle was a total loss and we basically wasted it. We were supposed to go out of town for a few days during my vacation, therefore I didn't go to get a baseline scan or RX's since I figure the RE wouldn't want to put me on meds if I was not going to be around for 6 days. Well, at the last minute we had to cancel our vacation and by then it was cycle day 8, too late to start treatment =( Now I'm cd#24 and hoping I get AF w/in 1 wk, if not I have to call and get provera and it'll be at least 10 days from there til I get AF and be able to start another cycle and hopefully treatment for IUI#3.
This September will be 2 years/ or 24 months/ 22 cycles of TTC. I'm really hoping and praying we'll get pg before that, but since the past 3 months have been "standing still almost mode" I'm not getting my hopes too high up...Will it be too much to ask to be finally conceive before this year ends??
Don't mean to just complain/vent, but part of me just wants to crawl to my bed and cry...a lot.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Just more random pics...because I need to practice
a lot!
these were all taken in manual setting, so...yeah =P
these were all taken in manual setting, so...yeah =P
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
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