Here we go again...

Cycle #30 started 3 days ago. Tomorrow I start Bravelle (injections) again to help me ovulate. Since this will be IUI#5 (#3 using injections) it will probably be the last IUI I get to do =(. My RE's office really recommends moving to IVF after 3 negatives IUI (injection) cycles. Unfortunately, we can't afford to do IVF for now. So I'm really hoping and praying this IUI works. It really hurts to think that it'll take more than almost 3 years it has already taken to get pregnant and become a mother.
Ever since I was little I wanted to grow up and be a mother. I remember playing with my baby dolls (2-3 at a time) and they were my babies. My mom said I would even pretend to breast feed them, I'm not sure I remember that =P. Now that I'm 29, married and even more prepare to be a mom than when I was 5, we are having trouble =(
Life it's not fair, obviously, but seriously, it sucks. Infertility sucks.
For now, I'm just hoping and praying (a lot) that this cycle is IT for us. That 9 months from we have a baby of our own.

(took this a week ago, rainbows remind miracles still happen)

My new camera bag*

this is my new (not home-made) camera bag. She's so pretty and roomy. Unlike the other camera bag I bought (a few months ago), this one will actually serve it's purpose. Plus, it cost about $50.00 less...I wish I had found out about http://jototes.com/ before buying the other one =(. Oh well, lesson learned. As for the DIY camera bag, it was useful for a while, but then it started falling apart. I think this new bag will be well use =)

Zoo trip

So yesterday 2 of my nieces, sister-in-law and my self went to the Oakland Zoo. We had a good time =)

wordless wednesday

These were taking using my new lens: tamron 28-75mm.

ballet girls...

So my 3 younger nieces (5,3 & 2) are in the "ballerina" stage and my parents bought them the outfit. Yesterday I went over and took some pics...with flash(I know:fail) since it was after sunlight and indoors (it was cold outside). Here they are:
funny girls =)


cute Y.


Shy M.

Random, etc...

Just finished doing a 30 min workout and it gave me a good sweat =). My goal is to lose 30 lbs by the end of June so I have over 4 months to do that. I just started to exercise last week, my plan is to exercise 3 x's a wk for 30mins for this month, then 4 x's a wk starting next month. I still need to eat healthier and I admit I have many temptations =(
I really want to be 10lbs less by the time I go back to the RE and restart treatment. I know that losing weight can help me/us increase the chances for a baby and yes, that's one of my top motives to lose weight (most likely it is the top one).
These past days I've been feeling down. Yesterday another co-worker mentioned that she was pregnant (3 this year so far) almost 5 months. She also mentioned that this will be her 5th child and after this one is born, she'll have 3 under 3. Best part is she claims she had the IUD (form of birth control)!...After that I felt miserable and as infertile as possible for the rest of the day =(. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate women that have no trouble conceiving, I just hate the fact that after 2+ years and fertility treatment we don't have a little one of our own.

For now I'm trying to remain POSITIVE. Will try to LOSE WEIGHT/be healthier. And to learn/practice and enjoy photography.

And because I know this post is kinda depressing: here's my cute niece (Mimi)

water & family...

trying to get some water drops shots

my cute and sweet niece


my handsome husband that turned 30 yesterday...still a boy =)