I'm fine.

This month became a year since last time I had infertility treatment. A year ago, we did our 5th IUI and got anonther negative =( After that, we went back to the RE's office for an IVF consult in July. Since we didn't have the $ to do IVF then and still don't have it now, IVF seems like a far away dream (for now). After that last visit to the RE's office from last summer, I've been trying to not be so down about the whole thing...I've try to not think about so much (although it's difficult to ignore something you want so much). I guess my mind it's in a self defense mode, meaning I have been able to distract myself from thiking about how it sux that am not pregnant yet, everyday. However, there are days that ignoring it's not so easy. Usually seen a baby does the trick. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get to hold my own baby. Hear a child call me mom and all those things that some parents take for granted =( I don't know when ( or if) I'll become a mom, but one thing I do know it's that I won't give up!

This reminded me of how I have felt many times when someone has ask me how am I doing? or how was my day?
I've said before and I'll say it again: infertility sucks. It hurts and sometimes it feels like a lonely battle =(