Defeated

That's how I feel. I've been fighting that feeling since last week. I think for tonight I'll just give into it. I can't speak for every person out there fighting against infertility, but for me this is an everyday battle. Some days are easier than others. Some days I feel okay, hopeful and patiently await the arrival of our little one (who will hopefully come). Other days I feel nostalgic,sad, as if I'm missing someone that should've already been here. Usually on the sad days, I'm not just sad, but also feel frustrated, negative and upset. It's been almost 3 years since we started this journey and to be honest I never thought it was going to be such long road. We don't know when our baby miracle is gonna come...or if it will come, but I like to think someday he/she will and all of this pain and sadness will just seem like a bump on the road. A bump we'll overcome I hope.
For tonight I'll let the emptiness fill me, tomorrow I'll get up and keep fighting.