Life & family (the past 2 wks)

So the past 2 wks have gone by quickly, it seems days are going by faster and faster. Last weekend my dad baptized (as a JW) which not only made us happy here, but a lot of family members were really happy and supportive in Mexico =)
Took some photos and down here you can see one of my parents <3 , my nieces and since I got the a new lens (really liking it) I took some photos to test it.
This past friday was kinda hard, there was a baby shower @ work (yep,another one) so yeah, it always brings me a bit down. I did give a gift and congratulated the mom, but left before the opening of gifts started.
Like always, I really hope we get to have our little one (soon), still praying for miracle.

Another year, another set of photos:

The 2nd day of the year was partly expended @ my parents house. We went over for carne asada, which by the way was really good =). J and I took desert (cheese cake) and yes, it was yummy.
* Here's my dad getting the grill ready.

* J and B just hanging, while waiting for the food. (B was having a "snack")

*Y with her baby, she loves her babies, I was just like that w/my dolls everywhere.

* Pretty rose from my mom's garden.

Bye 2011

Really hoping that 2012 will be a good year, better than 2011.
Def. will try to lose weight by eating healthier and exercise.
Also really hoping my husband gets a better job, cause the one he has right now sux and really stresses him =(
We'll go back (and hopefully) restart treatments (IUI) by March and hopefully 2012 will be the year I get pregnant and of course have a baby.
Something that I'm not looking forward to in 2012 is turning 30. I just hope and pray that the things we are hoping and looking forward to do come true!

Wedding part DOs =)

Tony & Brianda got married...

and I was given the opportunity to take their photos. Although I'm def. not a professional I tried to do good and even made/brought some props. We didn't have much to time to do the photos, since my nieces got bored and tired soon after we arrived @ the park. However, we are planning a re-shoot so my dad can be in some photos since we couldn't be @ the wedding. For now here are some of my favs. (I like a lot of them)

Fall and photos...

I think fall is officially my fav. season. I just love the colors of the leaves, both of the ground or still attach to the trees =) I also like the weather, it's not yet too cold and def. not hot, I sleep better! Oh and also I got married in the fall.

I love Y's expression in this one. Even though her eyes are closed, she looks happy and relax, the way a kid should always be =)


Did I mentioned I love the color of the leaves?


I miss having a chimney...A must for when we buy a house.

Sad...

That doesn't completely covers how I'm feeling, but it's the first word that comes to mind. It's been over 3 years since we started trying to start a family and still nothing. It's been almost 7months seven since my last (5th) IUI and I haven't been to the RE's office for a follow-up. We did go for in July for an InVitro consultation, but since we don't have the money for it, that was all.
I was able to not be to down the past months, at least I haven't had any emotional break downs. I attended a baby shower in August and even did a newborn shoot for a co-worker w/no problem. I almost didn't cry on our 3 year TTC anniversary. So even though every now and then, specially around babies and pregnant ladies I feel emotional I say I've been good.
However, this past couple days, specially today I've been feeling pretty sad. I feel scare that I will never get to be a mom. I feel kinda lonely. Like even though others might sympathized with me, they don't really know how I feel, and it gets really lonely. And yes I know it's no ones fault, so I'm not mad at them, it just feels like I'm this long, not really know what's gonna happen, journey alone =(
I love my nieces, I love seeing them grow. 2 of them are almost teenagers, while the other 3 are still little girls. I always thought my kids would go grow up with their cousins, like I did with mine, now I'm not even sure if I'll ever have kids...

I guess turning 30 pretty soon doesn't help much. I mean when we started trying I was 26 1/2 and I always thought that by the time I was 30 I would be either done having kids or having my 2nd. Now I just hope I can at least be pregnant before I turn 31. I know that a lot of celebrities among other women are having kids in their 40s, but most of them planned it that way, they chose to wait. They can afford to do invitro whenever, even just use a surrogate if they don't want to carry the baby themselves. But I didn't plan for this. I have always wanted to be a mom, been trying over 3 years. Almost 2 of those 3 with treatments and still nothing and we cannot afford invitro, at least not any time soon.
I guess I'm done w/this blog for now, I thought typing my feelings would help, but instead just made me feel more frustrated.