Family fun and little more...

Today was a nice day =) got to spend most of the day w/my parents, brothers (and wives) and my 5 nieces. We had lots of food and even cake for dessert. My dad did most of the barbecuing and I think most of us ended up w/very full bellies. It was nice to see my two youngest nieces playing together and I got to take some nice snapshots through out the day.

There was only one part that wasn't nice and was when a relative I had not seeing in over a year asked if I had any kids of my own yet, the question came after this person also mentioned that I look bigger than last time he had seeing me. So not only was I uncomfortable, but a lot of the sudden got emotional and had to walk away to cry for a little bit. I mean what was I supposed to say? Mmmh yes I know I'm fat and no I'm not pregnant, but I've been trying for almost 2 years now and so far had 2 failed IUI's...nope I just said, yes I've gain weight as you can see and no no babies yet, then I felt like tears were coming and walked away...kinda dumb I know. However, I did recover after a few mins. and joined the rest of the family.

Taking a forced, but no so unwelcomed break

So after another failed IUI (#2) I went in today for my baseline ultrasound. Unfortunately it showed I have 4 not so small cysts, 1 on the right ovary and 3 on the left. Therefore, the RE said I'm not doing injections/medications this cycle. I do have to do 1 HCG shot tomorrow, to see if that helps the cysts go away faster and hopefully by next cycle they'll be gone.
A few days ago, J and I talked about how if this cycle didn't work, we were gonna take a month break, since the past 2 month, last one specially, I've been feeling really stressed. Therefore, taking this month off from TTC is not that bad, and I look forward to start "fresh" next cycle (w/out any big cyst).
As for this month, I'm planning to relax and focus on learning how to use my new camera =)

Bittersweet weekend...

This weekend was not one of favorites, it started w/another temperature drop =(. After getting my progesterone levels (8.8) I was bummed, so by friday after 3 low temp I knew this cycle we were out.

I tried to not stay too sad and went out w/my SIL and my 3 nieces. That was nice, I guess it was the sweet part of my weekend. We went to out for a yummy brunch and then to walked around Alameda's shopping center, then went to the beach, it was about 68 and really sunny. It was cute how Miriam kept saying she wanted to build a sand castle and Nancy was playing w/her.

The bitter, bad part of my weekend happened friday night, someone really close to me said some really not nice, mean things, and let's just say that it really hurt =(...since that person did apologized, I gonna try to forgive and forget. Just hope that doesn't happen again.

I do have another good news from this weekend, though. My camera came in! Yay! now I must really learn how to use it. I'm looking forward to it, and hope I learn to take decent photos.

So, today is sunday around noon and the weather is the total opposite of what friday was, right now is raining and grey out there. I guess it kinda matches my mood, since AF decided pop her head 5 days early. Well, I just hope next week and next cycle will be better, I pray that soon we get to have our little miracle.

Feeling down, but trying to be hopefull...

So after getting a BFN last week I was down, then not so much and now a bit again...besides for obvious reasons =( I blame the hormones for the rollercoaster ride. I started Bravelle (injections) last saturday, one every morning (150mg) for six days. I'm wasn't crazy about giving my self the shot (in the belly), but every morning while preparing the injection I told my self that it was nothing compared to one day (soon hopefully) holding our lil miracle, might sound corny but totally true!

Tomorrow I go in for a follies check up. The RE told me that depending on how my follicles responded to the shot, I will or will not get more for this cycle. I'm really hoping they (follicles) responded good. Also hoping we can do our #2 IUI on March 31 (cd#14) and hope and pray to have more than one good follie...as well as good count/motility from DH.

I just saw on THEBUMP that several ladies @ the TTTC just got their BFP's =) I'm happy for them, some had being trying longer than we have. Some got their BFP's w/IUI's and one w/IVF. Reading about them gives me hope and encourages me to stay positive!

Not much to say

just that IUI#1= fail...AF showed up today.
I was kinda expecting that, but part of me was still hoping. =(

It's over one week

since last time I posted. Several things have happened since then, the most important one was that we did our first (and hopefully only) IUI on March 2nd. The procedure was not as bad as I thought it was gonna be, and it took much less time than what I thought it would. The RE told me to test on 3/16, but to be honest I would rather test the day after AF is supposed to show, which is 3/18. I honestly hate seen a BFN a bit more than getting AF =(. However, if I have a good temp. on 3/16 I might do a HPT... so we'll see.
So far I haven't had any symtoms, except for tender breast, but then again I noticed I get that way about a wk after Femara. I'm trying to be positive, but at the same time I don't wanna get my hopes too high up.
On other "events" I woke up w/a nasty bad sore throat since monday (3/1) and it lasted almost the whole week. After that I got bad neck/shoulder pain from sat-sunday =(. So my week sucked, except for the IUI part =-/
Another thing that sucked about this week is that J. was supposed to start a new job this week, however, things didn't work out =(. Therefore he's still looking, and we are hoping that soon he'll find one...
The next 7 days of waiting will be long and I'll just have to keep my mind busy, just hope next week I can post some happy news =)

The good and the bad

So today was my cd#13 appt. the ultrasound showed one good size follicle (19.3) and a bunch of smaller ones (9's and 10's). The dr. mentioned that if we have go into another cycle it would be better to try something else than femara. I completely agree since we noticed that my follies don't seem to be responding so well to femara as in the begining. The first 3 months I took femara I was getting 2-3 good size follicles by ovulation time, today and last cycle I only got one (that barely made it to a good size). Another reason why I may have to start on other med. is that my lining is also not responding as much to femara, today my lining was 6.3 and even thought the dr. said anything above 6 is okay, doing research it seems that above 8 is better...
After all, I'm happy we get to move on and start IUI this cycle, and hopefully tomorrow around this time, we'll be finishing the procedure. =)